I'm a White Trash Rockstar: A Valentine's Day Tree

I'm so lazy, instead of taking down my last Christmas tree, I just threw a bunch of homemade heart-shaped ornaments on it and am calling it a "Valentine's Day Tree".  

You can make Cinnamon Scented ornaments too - CLICK HERE for instructions!

White Trash Party: Food

Everyone needs food at parties.  But when you're having a white trash party, only certain foods will do.

First, we needed some appetizers.  Slim Jims, jarred cheese dip and pork rinds did the trick.  Leaving the dips in the jars and them displayed seemed like the trashy thing to do.  

We also had a veggie platter (too healthy to picture) and homemade jalapeño poppers (Made from THIS RECIPE HERE - they are delicious!)

For desserts - we had the signature jello mold. It looked beautiful, but I was too scared to try it.  I scored a really hideous looking "BBQ Cake" at BJ's.  I wanted to see if the baker would write "White Trash" on top of it but the husband said that would have been too tacky.  

We also had a not-so-trashy Key Lime Pie and "Dirty Worms" - which was pretty much chocolate pudding with mushed up oreos and gummy worms.

For the main course, we stuck to hamburgers, hot dogs and barbecued chicken thighs.  We also had mayo-filled sides like Potato Salad, Macaroni Salad and a Cucumber Salad which was delicious.  

I think the key is to yes, have some trashy food - but you actually want people to eat and enjoy it so you can't go "too trashy".  

White Trash Party: Decorations

The best part of throwing a White Trash Party is that decorations are very cheap.  Actually, the cheaper the better.  The whole shebang was pretty cheap.

So how does one decorate for a White Trash Party?  My grand idea was to hang underwear of all sorts on our clothes line.  The conservative husband vetoed that idea.  But here is what I was able to get away with.

SIGNS

Signs.  Signs are easy.  Signs can be informative.  Signs are cheap.  I found some cardboard and had some Sharpie markers.  I went to town:

Spelling words wrong is a key element.  Jaqzee = Jacuzzi.  Get it?  

The swing set even got a makeover with it's own sign and a hubcap.  

This was how people entered the yard.  A "Welcum Y'all" sign was the the most important.  We also decorated with beer boxes.  

HUBCAPS

I was able to score 2 hubcaps for this shindig.  Free, of course.  One magically appeared in my driveway one morning (no joke) and I found another on the Fore River Bridge in Quincy/Weymouth.  If you are throwing a party - look around your town for hubcaps laying around in the street.  They make great decorations.  

***Added Bonus!***  We hung both from a tree and the clothesline.  They were about 6 ft from the ground and we created a game where people stand back and throw a frisbee at it and see who can hit the hubcap the most times.  

FLOWERS

I had a spare nip bottle that I found so I used it as a little face.  Just clipped a wildflower out of my garden, and voila - instant pretty!

I decorated with a flower pot of dead flowers.  That was easy to do - I just took my half dead flower pot and didn't water it for the past week.  Instant dead.  

ABOVE AND BEYOND

Of course, I went a little "above and beyond" by making a wind chime.  See the details of how to make your own by CLICKING THIS LINK HERE.  Again - I picked up the bottles on the side of the road, I had the board, nails and ribbon laying around - so it was pretty darn cheap to make.

Other notes for decorations:

-  I found cheap, clearanced vinyl tablecloths at Stop & Shop a while back that helped accent the place.  The Christmas Tree Shop has them pretty cheap all the time.  They just give the place a little more "umph" than the plastic Dollar Tree tablecloths.  

-  Let your imagination go while and don't spend a dime!  If you just rummage through your attic or basement - you are bound to find things that will look "good" for your party.  

Be sure to come back tomorrow, y'all as I discuss proper White Trash party food!

  

White Trash Party: A Songlist

So you're going to throw yourself a White Trash Party?  I guess if you're politically correct, you might say "Hillbilly Party" - but Bargain Becky it's always politically correct at times.

I've made up a White Trash Playlist that consists of a nice mix of country, rock, rap and pop - we don't want to discriminate - all type of genres can have a White Trash element to them.

So without further adieu, here is a list of White Trash Music:

Song of the South by Alabama
Ramblin' Man by The Allman Brothers
Jessica by The Allman Brothers
Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus
...Baby One More Time by Britney Spears
Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen
You're So Vain by Carly Simon
Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks
The Real Slim Shady by Eminem
W.T.P. by Eminem
All my Ex's Live in Texas by George Straight
Redneck Woman by Gretchen Wilson
Live and Let Die by Guns & Roses
Pink Houses by John Mellencamp
Small Town by John Mellencamp
Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash
Don't Stop Believin' by Journey
Dust in the Wind by Kansas
Born Free by Kid Rock
Pictures by Kid Rock & Sheryl Crow
All Summer Long by Kid Rock
Lady by Lionel Richie & Kenny Rogers
Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Iron Man by Metallica
Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex
Bartender (Sittin' At A Bar) by Rehab
Highway to Hell by AC/DC
Night Moves by Bob Segar
We are Family by Sister Sledge
Gin & Juice by Snoop Dog
Carry On My Wayward Son by Starship
White Trash Goddess by The Stepgods
Beer For My Horses by Toby Keith and Willie Nelson
I like Girls That Drink Beer by Toby Keith
Courtesy of the Red, White & Blue by Toby Keith
Follow Me by Uncle Cracker

White Trash Wind Chimes: A Craft

You can make this.  Yes, you can.  

I found a random piece of wood in my shed.  I wrote with a Sharpie marker (that I got for like 1 cent during Staples' crazy "Back-to-school 1 cent deal spree" that went on in the month of August) "White Trash Windchime".  

Then I went to a local park where I knew people threw garbage (specifically, kids/junkies who throw beer cans out their car windows).  I found a Bud Light Can, A Coors Light can, a Corona bottle and 2 nip bottles.  There is only 1 nip bottle on my sign because my 4 year-old took them out of the dishwasher and did goodness knows what with one of them in my house.  There is a random nip bottle hiding somewhere in this place and I have no idea where.  At least I ran it though the dishwasher.  

So I took some ribbon that I had and tied a piece to the beer can opener thingy.  And other strings to the Corona and nip bottles.  Then nailed them in said piece of wood so that they were all equal distance.  It's actually a very pretty sound when they all clink together.  

Then I nailed it into my tree.

My neighbors love me.  

How To Make a White Trash Shirt with Pony Beads & Iron-ons

So I'm hosting a white trashy party soon.  I really don't have to "dress up" because I'm naturally trashy - but I wanted something special.  I could have just gone to Goodwill and picked up a nice, snazzy something or other - but nope.  I needed to make something.  That's how real homemakers do it.   So without further adieu:

I went to Michaels.  I love Michaels.  I found this purple shirt on clearance for like .90 cents.  It's a woman's small - and I am NOT a small lady - but figured it would work for the white trash sense, you know?  I guess I'm going for slutty white trash.

Michael's also had iron-on designs on clearance.  I scored this bad boy for like $1.20 - I don't know why this would be on clearance - I think it's actually pretty nice.  So I pulled the protective cover off said iron on and put on the shirt with the side that is suppose to stick to shirt, touching the shirt.  Duh. 

I ironed it per the instructions, peeled off the cover - and it was PERFECT!  But not perfect enough.

I decided to add some beaded fringe to this shirt.  I got Pony Beads at Michaels with my 40% off coupon.  I never heard of pony beads before - but they seemed like they'd do the trick.  I figured out where I wanted my fringed beads to end on my shirt - I wanted it trampy looking so I went up high.  You don't have to be as trampy as me.  I'm a real tramp.  I put tape to mark where I want to go to.

Then I cut up to the tape.  I started in the middle of the t-shirt.  Then I cut in the middle of that.  Then the middle of that.  Then the middle of that.  Well you get the idea.  Cut through both sides of the shirt.

Then you should end up with something like this.  You want the fringe to not be too thin - but be small enough to string through pony beads. 

Then you get your pony beads.  I went with assorted colors. I'm a rebel like that.

Now what I did, was I stretched each "fringe" before I tied my pony beads to it.  Just give each one a little tug and it will pull nicely.  I decided to go with the 3-1-3-1 pattern.  Remember that you'll have to do both front and back - so if you're doing an actual pattern, this might be tricky to keep right.  Especially if you're kind of dumb.  I did not go with a pattern - just assorted colors in my 3-1-3-1 pattern.  It looks like 1-1-3-3 in my picture because you are seeing the 1 for the front and 1 for the back, etc.  Get it?  Probably not.  Whatever.

Then I did the same thing to the arms.  First, which oops, I forget to mention up top - cut the seam off first.  

There is the bottom of the shirt.  Isn't it spectacular?  

I then decided to cut around the neck to give it more of an open neck/off the shoulders feel.  Men like that.  

Then I did the same thing with the arms as I did with the waist of the shirt.

Then - you are done.  I have no make-up on.  I didn't brush my hair. It was early in the morning and had my son take this picture (which I am sure will scar him for life).  I look really beastly - but I had to show off my creation - because hanging on a hanger was not giving it justice.  I shall take a picture when I get all dolled up in my WT best.  I had to really push out my chest since I have really small boobs.  I'm okay with that aspect of me though.  No really, I am.  I have small boobs and I cannot lie...

How cheap was this:

Shirt - .90 cents

Iron-on - $1.20

Pony Beads - $3.00ish

Just over $5 to make the White Trash shirt of my dreams.  Kind of pricey actually - but it is a fancy occasion.  Plus, it's a one-of-a-kind and you can't put a price on originality.