Thursday, October 4, 2012

If Only Apples Were Always So Cheap...and My Presidential Promises

I'm so sick of hearing about Mitt Romney and Big Bird.  Who cares.  I hate political season.  I also have to take a break from Facebook because people on both sides have to keep talking and talking and talking politics.  Blah.  I'm so sick of both Obama and Romney.  They both suck - we need a woman President!  Well -  I'll give you a piece of my political mind since it is the season...

I got up early today and went to Stop & Shop at 7 am.  It's so peaceful in grocery stores in the morning.  There was a coupon in their circular to make Gala Apples only .77 cents a pound.  Holy Moly!  That is great!  I got like 4.2 pounds of Gala Apples and it cost about $3.25.  I got 9 or 10 apples.

When fruit and vegetables are really cheap, I buy a lot of them.  When I buy a lot of fruits and vegetables, I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables.  I assume this happens with other poor people too.  I'm not sure, but I like to be hopeful.  Our country is really chubby and out of shape these days - or so says statistics and news broadcasts.  You know why?  Because fruit and vegetables are always so friggin' expensive and crap like Hamburger Helper and frozen pizzas are always cheap and on sale.  I bought grapes two weeks ago because my son actually eats them and the bag was $8.43.  They were gone in less than 48 hours.  We ate them all.  I really can't afford that, but gosh, grapes are good.  How can the government really push a healthy food pyramid when a lot of us can't even afford what is required from it?

So if I were a presidential nominee, I'd promise to subsidize the crap out of farmers and cheese makers (I really, REALLY love cheese) and tax processed food up the wazoo. People wouldn't need food stamps or WIC because apples would be like a dime each and cheese would cost .15 cents a pound.  And milk?  Yeah.  A gallon of milk shouldn't cost the same as a gallon of gasoline - it's shot out of a cow's udder for crying out loud!  If milk is $4 a gallon, we should be giving farmers more cows so we have an overabundance of milk.  We should be paying people to be farmers so fresh food isn't so friggin expensive.  So let's make milk about .50 cents a gallon.  Let's not forget the fishermen.  Asians eat fish all the time and they are wicked healthy.  We should all eat more fish - but it's kind of pricey - subsidize!  Fish and meat shouldn't top $1 a pound.

That Mama Celeste pizza you can get for only a $1 this week at Stop & Shop - yeah, tax that.   Hamburger Helper should just be banned (even though I am planning on making it tonight for dinner - the husband likes it and it's cheap).  It's not even cost effective to make anything from scratch anymore because raw ingredients all cost way more than processed, ready-to-eat food - and poor people can't swing it.  Why make bread when your can buy a cheap, processed loaf for .99 cents?

This is my political rant brought to you in part by Cookie Monster.  I'd attack him in my debate.

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