Monday, January 2, 2012

Dear Trader Joe's...

Hello.  I'm a redhead, I live on the South Shore (in Massachusetts, but of course) and I have one major complaint about your store.  This map:

Why, oh why have you forsaken us here on the South Shore?  We have one measly TJ's here in Hanover.  It's nice - but small and busy it is.  Why do I beg you to open more stores here?  I'll tell you:

1.  People on the South Shore like to eat healthy.  No seriously.  There are people here who do.

2.  The produce in the major grocery stores here have sucked for quite a while.  Bring us some good produce.

3.  We have Whole Foods here.  And guess what?  Whole Foods sucks.  I know it's like reverse discrimination or something - but I hate the rich, snooty people who go to Whole Foods.  They try to run me down in the parking lot at Derby Street Shoppes with their Lexus SUVs.  They're obnoxious in the store.  Yeah, I know it's wrong to judge and all that other sappy crap, but just knowing I'm going into Whole Foods puts me into some manic "I hate you" mood.  I don't want to be bitter when I go grocery shopping.  I want to be happy.  Trader Joe's makes me happy.

4.  You have cool things like Fish Nuggets and Cats Cookies.

5.  You hire really happy and peppy people.  Or maybe your friendly cashiers in Hanover are just on some miracle drug.  Either way - they are much more friendly than your average grocery store cashier.

6.  The Fresh Market came up here to Hingham.  It seems to be doing terribly.  You know why?  It's ritzy.  It's nice, but ritzy.  I like it more than Whole Foods because no obnoxious snotty people have tried to run me over in the parking lot - but that's because no one goes there.  We need a more "down-to-Earth", alternative grocery store.  That's you.  Not them.  You!

I can go on and on about Trader Joe's coming here.  Or more Trader Joe's coming here.  I used to live out in a little city known as Everett, WA.  Not to be confused with Everett, MA.  Out in the Pacific Northwest, Trader Joe's were a dime a dozen.  I didn't know how good I had it.

So with that, I leave you with:  Open another store or 3 or 4 or 5 in Southern Massachusetts.  Preferably Weymouth, Braintree or Quincy.


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